I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
this just has baby written all over it
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
