your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
