New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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