Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
