Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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