i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
