She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
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Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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