did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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