He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
