I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize