Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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