I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
