She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
