you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
