HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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