dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
