Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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