I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
