He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
