I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
