im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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