Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
