This girl is more easily done than said...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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