dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i think im in europe. pls send help
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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