You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
