he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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