Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
