don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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