ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
