You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
