i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
