i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
