she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
