Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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