Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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