32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
