he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
