I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
