I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
