becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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