Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
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Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
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We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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