i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize