Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
MIDGETS
????
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize