What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
