I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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