you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
