He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
