Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
