Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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