why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
