It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
