One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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