I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
