just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
