We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
