We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
