He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
