Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize