it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
