Having a random hookup so left but love u
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
