I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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