So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
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