hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You're a waste of cheezeits
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I need water and some morals
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
