Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
