my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize