Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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