I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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